Letter to Santa

My son wrote a letter to Santa. He's now in 3rd grade (almost 8.5 years old). His list includes Pokemon cards, Legos, Armymen, Armymen / Navy , Armymen/Marine, (these three are specific call outs for the little green plastic army men), cherries (Santa already gives cherries as a stocking gift, but he's hoping for even more), Bionicles, and a Nerf gun. He sealed the letter up and I told him I'd mail it at work. When I got to work I realized that he'd included a quarter, perhaps in an effort to bribe Santa. He writes, "PS Last year I got an Army man with a broken head."

This calls for a response of some sort. Do his coins get gold plated and returned? Does he get a hurt letter from an insulted St. Nick?

Edit 11/28: A conversation with him had him first "forgetting" that he'd put in a quarter, then asserting that it was for "taxes".


  1. Dear Sir:

    We apologize for the error and appreciate your calling this matter to our attention. Items placed in the sleigh's overhead compartments may shift during sleigh flight, occasionally causing breakage. In 2006, we introduced a new, state-of-the-art packaging and shipping facility, which has reduced the number of transit-induced defects by 95%.

    We at the North Pole strive to ensure 100% customer satisfaction. Please accept this extra package of cherries with our compliments, and please write to us again next year.

    Wishing you a Merry Christmas,

    Santos L. Halper
    North Pole, Inc.
    Your one-stop shop for Christmas gift requests!

  2. P.S. Thank you for the generous donation to the Bill and Melinda Claus foundation. Your quarter will feed an entire village of elves for six years! You will receive a letter from your sponsor elf in six to eight weeks.

  3. Must...resist...lure...of...humorous...response.

    Dear Houston,

    Thank you so much for your letter. I’m sorry that you had an army man with a broken head last year – sometimes my elves get a little rushed and careless when packing my sleigh.

    I’ve read your wish list and I think there may be one or two of those toys around here with your name on it. I have to deliver to a lot of boys and girls, so unless I have my list, I really find it hard to keep track.

    In answer to your question, whether I like beer or eggnog, the answer is that I prefer eggnog unless it’s a very warm Christmas night. Then I might like a beer or two.

    I noticed that there was a coin tucked in with your letter. I have a rule to never accept money. Perhaps you could give the quarter to a Christmas charity. There are many families that struggle to make ends meet and every little bit can count for them.

    Ho Ho Ho! Merry Christmas!

    Santa Claus